


violent things

by bokutoma



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age II, Dragon Age: Origins, Dragon Age: Origins - Awakening
Genre: Blushing Alistair (Dragon Age), I love him, King Alistair, Multi, Murder Mystery, Queen Cousland, fergus is an asshole, i'm cackling i was gonna put the murderer in the tags but he doesn't have a tag
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-04-10
Updated: 2018-04-16
Packaged: 2019-04-13 18:19:49
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,589
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14118171
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bokutoma/pseuds/bokutoma
Summary: love isn't always easy in thedas [collection of oneshots]





	1. goodnight socialite (pt. 1)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> and that was the most absurd part, wasn't it? not the murder, or the intrigue, or the note that promised that thea would be dead before night's end. that all felt strangely normal, like life had just been in limbo since they had stopped the blight. 
> 
> no, the strangest part by far was that fergus cousland was insisting that he court thea again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm a garbage child who likes albumfics, and i tried to use this for voltron and it didn't work. now i have story ideas, however, and alistair is just so good for this  
> i hope you enjoy!

Maker's breath, wasn't everything supposed to be easier once you were king?

Oh, sure, he didn't sleep with hounds or in a tent anymore, and he could have all the fine cheeses he wanted, but honestly, how could anyone expect Alistair to function correctly when Teyrn Fergus Cousland was acting like  _that_?

He was watching him like a hawk, like Alistair was someone who couldn't be trusted around his darling sister. He understood, really - Thea meant the world to him and he had known her for all of a year - but Maker, you would think he'd trust the man who'd been watching his sister's back for so long when many wanted her dead. If Fergus was so Maker damned certain that Alistair was that kind of person, perhaps he should have joined his sister against the Archdemon.

Perhaps it was watching her back that Fergus was worried about, though.

He was aware that it was a favorite bit of gossip among the nobles of Ferelden, how the new king couldn't take his eyes off of the young Cousland girl. It didn't bother him, or hadn't, overmuch; it was true, and it wasn't as though that had started recently, either. Had any of these fools traveled with her as long as he had, they would have seen him head over heels practically since arriving in Lothering. Maker knew that Morrigan certainly had.

Hag.

Now Fergus was insisting that somehow Ferelden's hardest year in ages had somehow duped Thea into thinking that she loved him. Not publicly, of course, since Thea would skin him alive and they both knew it, but he had taken Alistair aside after that initial celebration and practically  _hissed_ at him to flee the country. To be fair, it likely wasn't the wisest decision to reply with an incredulous, "I'm the  _king!"_ but, well...it was Fergus's fault.

Additionally, the fact that Fergus found him any sort of lecherous whore was practically laughable, given his sexual history. In a last ditch effort to convince him to drop his ridiculous ideas, Thea had asked Alistair for permission to tell Fergus that he had been a virgin, and that  _she_ had been the one to proposition  _him,_ and he had even  _rejected_ her at first. He had given his relieved acceptance, but as she walked away, he had wondered if perhaps her brother would even find it insulting that he had rejected his sister as well.

He had eavesdropped on that conversation, and Maker, he had cringed as Thea had told her brother in no uncertain terms what a blushing virgin he had been. He heard the scorn in her brother's voice (what  _would_ make that bastard happy?), and felt relieved to hear his love say that she thought it was sweet. He had felt an uncomfortable burn of jealousy in his chest as she reminded Fergus of her old lovers - Andraste's ass, they used to  _joke_ about her lovers - and had felt a strange kinship when the elder Cousland begged his sister to stop. Warmth curled in his stomach as she told her brother frankly that she loved him, and that he loved her.

He had thought to be relieved when Fergus said he saw that now. All his annoyance, however, returned immediately when the teyrn said that he wanted to see his sister courted anyway.

Even worse, he couldn't continue to rally against him; Thea had thought it sweet that her brother wanted to see her courted properly. Even the fact that Fergus had declared that that included no intimate relations, as much as that had irritated her, wouldn't sway her from her brother's side.

"Besides, Alistair," she had whispered to him as they had sat side by side in a sitting room, watched by a rather lenient chaperone. "Won't it be all the sweeter when I sneak out to spend nights with you?"

Damn her persuasive tongue.

Aaaand, now he was blushing in the ballroom of the royal palace, playing nice with Arlessa So-and-so and sharing a drink with Bann What's-his-face, all the while waiting for the Couslands to emerge from those gaping doors so he could sweep his love into his arms for a dance or two and not be slaughtered by a high ranking member of his own army.

As if thinking of her wicked tongue had summoned her, the Couslands immediately stepped through the door before a herald even had the chance to announce them. Fergus was as open and welcoming a presence as ever - to everyone but him - but Thea...

Maker, if Andraste had ever blessed anyone with her beauty, then surely it was this Cousland, for she was a beauty and a hero both, and he was beyond lucky to have even a piece of her heart. She was resplendent, soft blonde hair half up in intricate braids, the rest hanging in loose waves around her face. Alistair knew that she had missed the dressing up portion of nobility, and seeing her in her element made him rather inclined to agree with her. Her light blue dress augmented her brilliant green eyes, and her lips, Andraste's dimpled  _ass,_ her lips had been brushed with red so bright it drew everyone in the room to her.

He was beginning to sound like the protagonist of one of Leliana's stories.

He excused himself from conversation with someone whose name  _and_ position currently eluded him, drawn as if by magic to her side. He could distantly recognize the titters of some old biddies, commenting on how unsightly it was for the king to be so enamored with a woman that wasn't even his wife yet, or how  _cute_ it was.

He hated being cute.

Thea had spotted him by the time he was halfway to her, and she all but dragged her brother over, linked as they were at the elbow. "Alistair!" she called joyously - once she was in proper calling distance, of course. He was grateful that at least one of them knew the proper decorum for any situation. 

"How are you, my dear?" he said, stopping a polite distance away from her out of wary respect to Fergus when all he wanted to do was wrap her up in a hug.

She removed her arm from her brother's and trailed her fingers along his upper arm in the most proper romantic gesture she could convey at the moment. His brain  _may_ have stopped working briefly. "I'm well, love," she said, voice low, her lips curled into a smile that made him simultaneously want to kiss her and stare at her forever.

"I'm also well, thanks for asking," Fergus cut in, his voice dry and yet amused, which Alistair was counting as a win, thank you very much. 

He gave a slight bow in response. "Forgive me, Teyrn Cousland. I was just paying respects to the nicer of the two of you to bolster my courage before greeting you."  _That's not what you're supposed to say to the man whose blessing you require to marry the love of your life, Alistair, you idiot._

To his surprise, Fergus tipped his head back in a roar of laughter. "There's the backbone I've been missing!" he cried. "Good to see you're a man that will bite back if Pup gets too bossy."

Was that...approval? Sweet Andraste, this was already a perfect night. 

Thea merely giggled, pushing at her brother's shoulder before linking arms with Alistair and waving a quick goodbye, whisking him off before the teyrn had a chance to object. "I plied him with a bit of wine on the way here," she confessed, her mouth curled into a devious smile. "Got him to confess that he actually likes you, and that he agrees to our marriage. He just wanted to see how long it would take before you snapped at him."

"Not much longer," he responded instantly. "Maker knows I was trying to hold out because he's so important to you, but one more sly comment on my many chaste years and I was going to have you. Loudly. Where he could hear it."

"Alistair!" She tried to sound cross, as there were certainly people eavesdropping, but Alistair didn't care now that she was here, and she failed anyway, laughing at his antics. "It would certainly make up for all the times he brought lovers into  _my_ rooms instead of his own so I'd be the one to get in trouble with Mother."

"Despicable," he said, tutting like the elder nobles were wont to do, and then, suddenly, the castle was bathed in darkness.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this baby got LONG  
> here's a playlist: https://open.spotify.com/user/halcyosu/playlist/5RTVYG3sP7V0r5pja4cDmN


	2. goodnight, socialite (pt. 2)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> maybe anora should have been queen. then she would be the one having to deal with threats on the lives of her loved ones.
> 
> being king was too much work.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ooOoOOooh what's happening in denerim?  
> probably something wild lbr

The only thing that kept Alistair from panicking was feeling the warmth of Thea pressed against his side.

" _Shit_ ," she muttered, suddenly the rough and tumble woman he had fallen in love with on the road. "Alistair, I didn't bring either of my daggers."

He was about to reply that she had left one of her elven daggers, gifted to her by Varathorn after brokering peace between the Dalish and the werewolves, and that he had kept it on him in case she had need of it, but the lamps were quickly relit, and the cries of his guests quickly drew his attention. 

There, in the middle of the floor, lying in a puddle of blood, was Bann What's-his-face.

Perhaps Alistair would be more upset if he could remember what the man was the bann  _of._

Then the reality of the situation snapped into focus ( _this wasn't the Blight, why is there someone dead in the middle of the Royal Palace,_ how  _is there someone dead in the middle of the Royal Palace_ ), and he sprang into action just as Teagan appeared at his shoulder. 

"Teagan, I need to get up and make the announcement, but if you could group some nobles together and surround them with circles of the guard to make insulated bubbles, that would be grand. That way, if there's another attack, we'll know exactly where the person should be."

Teagan nodded, and Alistair prepared to rush to the front again when Fergus showed up.

"Pup," he cried, his face white as a sheet. "With me. I can't lose you again."

Alistair's lips compressed. Much as he had newfound respect for the elder Cousland, he trusted no one but the people who had been at her side during the Blight with her life. "Fergus, you're welcome to come along, but I would prefer she stay with me, since I'm actually aware of her fighting style developments." He turned and glanced at her. "If that's alright with you, love."

"It would make sense if I could do any fighting," she said, lips twisting ruefully. He procured the dagger he had kept close for her, and held close the little awed smile she gave him, an oasis in this panicked moment.

He felt Fergus grip him by the arm, a pained "Take care of her," all that he could manage. 

"I'd rather die than see any harm come to her," he promised, and whisked Thea up the stairs with him. He felt calmer, more in control now that he had her working at his side. 

As he clambered up onto the rail, preparing to grab everyone's attention, he noticed Thea getting a standard issue dagger from a female guardsman. Good; she was better when she had options.

"People of Denerim!" he called his voice echoing over the masses of people, all scrambling despite Teagan's clear instructions. At the sound of his voice, however, they seemed to pause, if only momentarily. "There has been an unforeseen loss here, but we can prevent anything further if we all stick together and listen to the instructions of Bann Teagan, who is working together with the royal guardsmen to keep you safe! Cluster together in groups of no more than ten, and guardsmen will form a protective shield around you. We will not lose more of you today!"

They seemed soothed by his words, at least for the moment, so when he dismounted, he looked Thea in the eye, uneasy at the prospect that he knew what needed to happen next. 

"Bann Stephan," she teased, however, and he quirked an eyebrow in question. "Just in case you have to make another speech where you'll be required to know the name of the man who just died."

Distantly, he realized that she was playing the part that he had during the Blight, comic relief to soothe tension. Sweet Andraste, she really was his perfect match. "You don't seem terribly broken up about it, dear."

She snorted. "He'd had a thing for Fergus since forever, so if my brother isn't wailing in despair, I don't see why I should be."

"But he's-"

"Twice my brother's age?" She laughed. "Nobles are strange, love."

Suddenly, she seemed to spot something, and she grabbed the bow off of a guardsman's back, nocking an arrow and pointing it at a spot in the low hanging rafters above before he could so much as blink.

"Come out," she barked, her normally musical voice gone steel hard with the command that danger lent her.

A cloaked figure dropped to the ground, and, stomach tightening, Alistair noted that they had been in the perfect position to take a shot at his head.

"Make your identity known," she continued, and a melodic laugh could be heard from underneath the hood of the cloak. Alistair watched in surprise as his love, startled, lowered the bow. He was even more surprised when she dropped it entirely and let out a strained, relieved giggle, rushing over to the figure and embracing them tightly.

"Thea?" he questioned. Maybe he was going insane. Maybe this was the Maker's idea of sweet relief from this horrid party. Then the figure dropped his hood, and he understood. "Zevran?"

The elf in question bowed dramatically, or as dramatically as he could with Thea still embracing him in relief. "At your service, my king."

"You wouldn't have something to do with this, would you?"

The Antivan placed a hand to chest in mock offense, though a smile curled at his lips. "On the contrary, my dear Alistair. I got wind that a Crow contract was to take place here tonight, and I thought I would lend you my protective services for free." He tilted his head at that. "Or at least a very reasonable fee."

"You  _did_ want to see a bloodbath in these halls," Thea said, her countenance light. 

"Maker, we just got the blood out of the carpet from the last one," he lamented, glad for the smile she directed at him for that. He grew serious at the news that Zevran had brought, however. "Any idea who the contract is for?"

The elf shrugged. "It was a very profitable contract, however, and I heard it said that the target was rather dangerous, not to mention high up in the nobility. Not something that scares off the Crows, of course, but someone who would scare off anyone sane."

Alistair's eyes flickered to Thea in worry. it hadn't been so long ago that she had been  _Zevran's_ target, after all.

Zevran caught his glance and looked uncharacteristically serious. "Yes, my friend, it is either on you or the lovely Hero of Ferelden, and I do not think you are so terrible at this social thing that people would want you dead. Perhaps in Antiva or Orlais, but not here."

Alistair glanced at Thea, who had gone a little white at the news, lips pressed into a tight line. "Well, shit."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> secret mhairi hehe
> 
> me: don't put zevran in this he has so many chapters for himself  
> also me: haha can't have too much zev!!!
> 
> also wtf why can't i end things when i mean to this is going on two chapters longer than i meant to and it's not even to the violent things part yet


End file.
